What's on YOUR mind????

These social networking sites always ask you what's on your mind. They want you to tell the world how you're feeling at all times. Better still, they want to add that spice in your friends' lives - whenever they log in, they get to know, who's being dumped, who's chasing who, who is elated at some mundane event in his life that doesn't matter to the rest of the world, but now, it suddenly makes all the difference.

We all use those spaces to speak our mind. Observing and participating myself in these trivialities, i have drawn a few mental patterns about this queer activity. Let's see if I can map all the categories successfully:-

1. The Currents: They post links to their favourite game that happened recently, or some speech delivered by some controversial public figure. They like to keep themselves updated and want to enlighten everyone around them. Fake Alert: Watch out for the show offs who merely wanna let everyone know what they've been reading and how vigilant they are.

2. The Weepers: They are always whining about their lives. They won't tell their best friend what's eating them but they are okay with letting the whole world know how deep they are. My full sympathies go out to these 'piners'. Nothing wrong with being honest about what's on your mind, as long as it doesn't trouble people who look out for you. Keep them in the loop. Otherwise, you are actually providing the rest of the people who don't care and who don't matter with something to look forward to and laugh about every single day. So keep going. If you collate all your status messages you could create a best-selling journal or even, a hit movie that belongs to parallel cinema.

3. The Warm-Fussies: These are the lucky few who live in Mush Land. They don't care about what their image would be in their acquaintance circle. They pour out all their sap online. They think that the only person reading their updates is their ONE. But sadly, the whole world is exposed to the turns your love life is taking. And I speak for all of them when I say - Spare us the sugar, honey!

4. The Salesmen: This is essentially a male trait. They will give their current location and phone number along with their social security number, their address. They expect that the whole world should know their whereabouts just like we know Obama's. "Boston, this is The White House. The Eagle has landed. I repeat. The Eagle has landed." Dude! No one is going to call you. Give it up. Take your phone number off your status.

5. The Pseudo-Gloats: Their status messages always involve a piece of trivium that is totally irrelevant but is always true. It is twisted in such a way that it sounds as if the gloat is merely stating a fact, but is a self-praise in disguise. It creates an awe in the readers' minds about the gloat. But sadly, the awe is ephemeral. It's more like 'shucks and awwwwwwwwww'.

6. The Quoters: They are the most jobless people in the world. I know of people who actually spend half an hour every week digging out funny, profound or just plain weird quotes from books and the internet to post them on their profiles. They obviously expect their friends to comment on these unoriginal and banal notions. I am completely okay with the quotes, people, but the constant persuasion to comment on these impersonal messages is further adding to the under-productivity and inefficiency in this world. If you revel in your joblessness, you shouldn't need company out there now, shouldn't you?!

7. The Cubby-Holers: They are under this misconception that all their acquaintances know their current friend circle inside out. Their status messages include recent developments in their and their friends' lives without any reference to context mentioned alongside. Sometimes, this may lead to very strange inferences and yes, a stain on your reputation. So beware!

8. The Altos: They will always harp on the song they are listening to or the current favourite. Some post their entire playlists. Others merely pick up on a cool rock number and show off with it. The song usually means something - I guess, their current state of mind. But who cares. All this does is gets that particular song on the readers' minds too. If they don't like it, a choice of abuses is slewn at you via the telepathy route. Even if they like it, you don't earn any brownie points, they will still think you are showing off.

9. The Spectators: They are a few who merely watch the other eight prance about every day with a new state of mind. It's fun to do so. It's like a daily soap everyone is hooked on. So bring on the masala! No one seems to mind.

I am not saying anything is right or wrong. I am not even stereotyping anything or anybody. I am sure you have tried to find your best fit in the above few slots. I am also sure you are being judgmental about how judgmental I am :). My friends know I am the last one to be judgmental. Trust me, these are honest observations based on the many many friends I am blessed with. I am also quite confident that many will find more than one match for themselves. I certainly believe that when blogs came into existence, half the web was highly skeptical about them - about the power of expression a blog gives - about the freedom of thought and how it could affect the masses - about opinions - millions of them, being read, rebuked and appreciated. How about this now - whether it is Twitter, Gtalk, Facebook or Orkut, I can post my thoughts, my views, my opinions by the minute. A blog is still a well contemplated journal, but random thoughts are more potent, more personal, more impulsive. What do you do about these fast flying emotions that reach out to everyone around like plague?

Lalit Chacha

He used to come to our house at 11 30 in the night after my parents would've slept off. He would throw stones on the metal name plate outside to wake them up. These days he calls at 7 in the evening and lands at around 10. This is a huge improvement.

He is one of my father's best friends from medical school. He was his junior. But now he is family. And he's always been Chacha for me.

He has come a long way. As a young boy, he used to sell newspapers. One day, he was teeming with a happy secret and was bubbling to share it with someone. He told one man as he sold him a paper, "Iss mein mera naam hai.." The man shirked him off. That day, the paper contained the PMT results. He had made it.

In medical college, he was in NCC with my dad. They went on this trip to Amarkantak which was headed by my dad. At one station, my dad asked him to pack breakfast for the whole group. Lalit Chacha gladly got off on the station. There was no sight of him for a good twenty minutes. The train started to leave the station. One of the cadets went to another coach and pulled the chain. After 10 more minutes, they saw Chacha bringing in one large fruit basket full of Aloo Puri. He got an earful from my dad, but also added to his long list of interesting stories to tell.

He decided to take his bicycle out for a ride. For a long ride. So he set off. He set out for an All India trip. He travelled from city to city. He used to go to every police station and get them to sign his little book. He used to eat once daily - at night. And he used to drink milk.

He got into government service. He was posted at Omkareshwar. For the uninitiated, Omkareshwar is at the banks of a winding Narmada. A beautiful temple, a dainty bridge and the placid, meandering Narmada. Lalit Chacha used to go on frequent swims into the river. One fine day, he got inside and thought to himself, "How long can one stay in water" So he decided to check. he kept swimming. People started noticing. Some acquaintances were concerned. They said, "Daaksaab, ab bahut ho gaya.. chaliye" Lalit Chacha asked them to go fly a kite. After a while, a reporter from somewhere came along on a boat and asked him, "Aap jo yeh kar rahein hain, aap kis maksad se kar rahein hain.. aap kya message dena chahenge bharat ke naujawano ko?" Chacha asked him to row a boat. Figuratively. After a while, Chacha heard some band playing on the banks. Someone came to him again and said, "Daaksaab, ab chaliye, 12 ghante ho gayein hain.. yeh band aap ke liye baj raha hai" He was dragged out. They didn't let him wear his clothes. They carried out a procession to his house, playing "Yeh desh hai veer jawano ka" on the way. For months later on, his skin peeled off like that of a boiled potato.

Today, he is one of the Padma Shree hopefuls in the country. He pioneered Family Planning Operations in villages all over Madhya Pradesh. He conducts camps in one village or the other almost every day. He gets some sleep in his rickety jeep on the way. He reaches the camp where some 500 people are already in queue, waiting for "Doorbeen Wale Baba". That's the rural name for a Laparoscope, with which he carries out his surgeries in less than a minute each. These surgeries are performed usually in community halls with makeshift OTs. Painless, foolproof surgeries that end only with a convenient band-aid. It's a revolutionary concept. It's a mundane area that he has turned around into a strong tool for woman empowerment, familly welfare and overall economic development.

He is used to the numerous felicitations. But he is as grounded as he was thirty years ago. He is humble, simple and lovable. He is a confused father to two lovely girls. He seeks my father's help in understanding them. My dad uses his experience with me to advise him. I don't think it helps much. He is one of those people in my life, who I will always look up to. If today I am proud to be a frank, straight forward person who can easily demarcate right from wrong, it is due to Chacha's presence in my life. So here's to you Lalit Chacha, Cheers!!

I am an Idiot :)

I didn’t know anything about the movie. I hadn’t seen any trailers. I hadn’t even heard the music. And thank heavens for that. Because I guess I wouldn’t have been as moved as I was when I watched the movie.

In my previous blogs, I have mentioned how much I detest the Education System of India. Some of my career plans surround this very notion. I am just more than glad that someone thought of bringing this up and that too, so powerfully. Yet, they didn’t make it offensive. They didn’t blame anyone.

The movie begins with an innocuous Madhavan in the seat of a flight about to take off. You think to yourself that he will be the bystander in the movie. Till you see him stop the plane by faking a medical emergency. For those who haven’t watched the movie, this is the last bit I am divulging. There won’t be any more spoilers.

The movie shows how things are. You are smug when you see all the intricacies of typical college life. The ragging sessions, the daaru sessions on the remote Tanki, the nerds who are always royally jacked, the dreamers who sit at the balcony strumming their guitar and the profs who carry the names bestowed upon them by the students and attempt to get every quirky student in line.

The movie carries with it an energy that is so contagious, you don’t stop smiling. You are on a roller coaster ride, shocked one moment, in splits the next, crying the other and laughing again at the hopelessness of it all. The guys are awesome. I saw myself in the movie at so many points. I saw my friends in many scenes. I saw my parents, my siblings, my teachers, and even Millimetre reminded me of the Chhotus that have in some way touched my life as a student.

The climax makes you wonder whether they’ve gone overboard. But it all fits in the end.

Amir is adorable as a 19 year old. The way he walks, the way he scratches his head, the way he says to himself, “Aal eez well” and the innocent yet intelligent sparkle in his eyes passes him off as a teenager in Engineer college brilliantly.

I am watching the movie again. J J

PS: Am posting this after I saw the movie again last night. You can see only a glimpse here and there of Five Point Someone. So I'd like to ask Mr. Bhagat to step back and not try to milk any attention out of the accolades the movie is receiving. The script doesn't belong to him. Neither does the limelight.