CrossRoads

Sometimes I feel very insecure and scared when I think about what I want to do with my life. There are a few times when I feel like going to Auroville for good. One such instance was a few minutes ago when I was reading this article about economic development affecting nature. Well, that was mostly the head and tail of it. That is when I remembered that I even have a blog and write about it. But this is a step I am scared to take. There could be a lot of repercussions to it. Also, I am not completely sure whether this is exactly what I want or not. Guess I'll never find out unless I actually experience it myself. That is definitely not going to be a bed of roses. But maybe it is, for me.

But what if I get sick of it after a few weeks? What do I do then? Not that I can't come back. I could always come back. But it would just be another thing I failed at. So is this what it is? Am I wanting to go there to run away from my possible failures in life? Maybe so. Only to avoid the many hassles I would be running after, I choose a place where there are no hassles I could possibly after. But again, there's my trait of finding something or the other that I want and don't have. And blow it up.

So when I'm going crazy with all these questions in my head, I just switch everything off and say - Hey.. I don't have to ask myself that question. So just forget it. Rite.

Thank you for Smoking

My bro had it in his laptop. So just watched it. It was... well.. different to say the least. What hit me first was that it was about exactly what the title said. smoking. And yes, much more than that too. I know someone who's trying to quit. God knows how well he's doing. Is he even keeping at it. Strong will power is not exactly his forte. But if he sets his mind to it, he might just get there. For years he was in denial and kept saying that it was not a habit and that he could quit anytime he wanted to. So at least he has moved a step further. Oh so the movie.. rite.. It had layers to it. Ethics, morals, rights and wrong, and most of all integrity.

I wouldn't exactly remember this film when asked about my favourites. But I'm glad I watched it nonetheless. The movie makes you hate the protagonist's guts and at the same time you want him to emerge as the winner. Thank you for smoking. Crisp. Neat. Intriguing.

I have never smoked. Never think I will. Of course I couldn't have avoided passive smoking. But that has been minimal. And personally I find a cigarette in anyone's hand quite a turnoff. So just put that away and maybe then we could talk. ;)